Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
