We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Randomize
