Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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