Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Randomize
