Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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