the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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