we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
