That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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