He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
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