i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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