It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
