I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize