Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
