There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
