my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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