Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
