i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
