She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
jump out the window naked night went bad
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
