Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
