Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I forget how to act sober
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