last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
