Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
we should paint friendship bongs
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