I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
