I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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