real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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