Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
