Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
