Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
