I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
