pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
