She's JV to your varsity
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
