and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
