Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
My feet surprised me
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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