i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
either way he was missing a nipple.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Randomize
