i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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