I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
