That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
