hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
