I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
