i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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