after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
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