yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
