remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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