dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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