Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
i need to put some appletini on your dick
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize