you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
A bitchslap is in order.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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