He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
