I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
