I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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