Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
