Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
