Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
